Bisexual couples get together for a longtime, will inevitably be complained by a partner, this is normal things, but
bisexuals in the face of partner complaints, if not make a positive response,
it is easy to let the feelings into the deadlock. Take a look at theanti-grievance method to communicate bisexual emotions.
First, do not attack, explain your needs
"Hard criticism" openings tend to
make partners angry. For example: "how are you going, full of my mind only
work, never thought of me!", "You never call me, no matter what the
festival did not expect to send me a gift, your heart only your own!" Obediently,
so speak, who can endure?
Learn how to learn "soft
complaints": bisexuals point out their needs but do not blame or attack
partners. For example: "My dear, I need you to help the children at the
weekend, but in the past month you are working every weekend." "I
hope to be your concern, but it seems that in our relationship always I'm calling
to greet you, and only I remember to send you a gift.
Second, not to partial general, focus on
specific behavior
"Hard criticism," saying:
"You always speak not words, never irresponsible!" This way, we partner's
personality sentenced to death, of course annoy. And "soft complain"
master will say: "tonight said good to eat together, but you let me wait
for a long time." That is, describe the occurrence of things, rather than
elaborate on their partner personality conclusions.
Third, the mood can "only say no
practice"
Most of the time, bisexual "only say no practice" is not a smart approach, but in intimate communication,
in the face of their negative emotions, the most sophisticated approach is to
put out the emotions, rather than do it. In other words, bisexuals need to find
ways to discuss their feelings with their partners, but do not really put into
action.
For example, you can say: "I am very
angry, gas to want to fall things!" So finished, you have expressed the
true feelings of the heart, can completely omit the destructive practices of
throwing things.
Or: "You just let me some can’t stand,
I now want to escape." Yes, do not follow the feelings of the heart to do,
you do not need to take the door out, but stay with a good partner Discuss your
own feelings.
Give another example: "I now have an
impulse to open to call you to protect yourself." Instead of really
blaming each other, it is better to tell you the feelings of the moment and the
hearts of the motive, so to avoid the irreparable damage caused by feelings,
but more can promote each other's emotional communication.
With the "emotional light that do not
practice" way to talk about their feelings, although it will not let the
problem disappear, however, this is a bisexual super and effective inviting
action. Just like to send a close invitation to her partner, let him know your
feelings better, and let the other understand: my purpose is not to hurt you,
but want to be closer to you, let him / her have the opportunity to and you establish
a close psychological connection.
In life, bisexual rational use ofanti-complaint method is undoubtedly a very good means of communication, so
that partners know your pain, and thus get understanding.
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